I Never Knew I Was Beautiful

You need to learn the power of decorating your own soul, your own inner voice. Let us start from there, when I was growing up I never knew how beautiful I was;all I could see in the mirror was my very big nose;looking awful. I see my nose as big because I was constantly told it was big by people around me. I would put my hands on it to cover it up, I always touched my nose and honestly it took me forever to stop that habit. When I look at my friends I see beautiful princesses, but not me:I had big feet, scanty hair and big eyes. All this for me, as time passes by I became active in school activities, I was struggling for attention. I had this teacher back then her name was Miss Grace, for whatever reason she saw beyond my big nose and made me took part in the cultural dance group back then.

I would stay in the front row and just create attention, this was to distract people from looking at my nose. Those activities helped me with my confidence a little bit as a young girl, Maybe if I remained in a mixed school with boys and girls finding myself would have been easier;but my mom took me to an all girls school. You want to know what happens in an all girls school; I will tell. You can end up all confident and happy or you can be miserable and completely broken;I didn’t want to be the broken one, but remember my big nose and big feet, small head. I have a friend I love him so much, now he would say your head looks like okra but I love it. It is full of beautiful things and ideas, that’s something now. Back then I had one of the biggest shoes in school which made me look like a boy about to jump, I just made that up( the boy jumping part). If you want to succeed in any environment you find yourself ,the people you meet and make your circle matters a whole lot. Take it from me, even now as adults your circle should be small and meaningful.

I had a group of friends, from different backgrounds, back then they were from very rich families. There is a way been rich makes you look beautiful, it makes your words looks right and better than others when you speak. But in reality that is not true at all, they looked like princesses but they were just bullies taking advantage of the beautiful ones who didn’t have confidence. On their own they couldn’t make real friends, so they hang in there with the girls /boys who struggled with low self esteem. They would never stop talking about the achievements of their parents, why is that so? They had no real conversations. I always admired my friends and told them how beautiful they looked, not for once did I get a decent compliment in return. It was more of giving than receiving. My God, looking back now I was full of love and kindness. I wanted everyone to be Okay, i would go all the way to put a smile on someone’s face; yes that was Mary. What i am trying to point out is not getting any compliment from my circle, all I really got was people around me asking for favors, and me not having the “NO” power i already said yes, and never stopped apologising for things I never even did. Wow! the fear of losing friends as a young girl is the fear of most young girls. It is very important for you to find yourself early in life. I tell this to young people Especially girls, learn self acceptance, forget the big nose, the big feet, the small talks, you are good enough, know you can do more, activate the vibes that is circulating inside you trying to bust out to beautiful things.

Social media doesnt even help now, you see almost everyone looking perfect, no spots,everyone looking flawless. That is not the reality, the reality is looking at your big nose and big feet if you have one like me, and loving it. So I can imagine how difficult it is for young people going through bully and what they are struggling with. When I got married it was even worse, i tried to perform magic by doing so much, it only got worse Because I was constantly talked down, my ex husband would say if you didn’t have a big nose oh,; if you didn’t have big nose , he kept talking me down with little things. What he did was even worse than growing up. Find out what matters most to you; celebrate your accomplishments no matter how small.

It is never late for a new beginning in your life,. There is one secret I must share with you, my mom told me anyone who leaves my life has lost something really big. People loose you when you know your worth you don’t loose them. Have a great attitude, you know attitude is everything. Believe in your beauty, it is amazing when you look at that part of your body that you thought wasn’t good enough and just start loving it on a different level. There is no mistake about it, my nose compliments my big eyes, I am not average, lucky for me i never sat on the victim’s chair, you don’t have to look far to find better things in your life, you have everything right where you are.

I started decorating my own soul, don’t let anyone do that for you. I am so beautiful, immediately i found myself, everyone else started seeing it, all I hear now is you’re so beautiful some of my friends would say to me, Mary growing up you were the cutest; ugh” really, now they say it. Don’t stay around anything that doesn’t serve you, stay away from things that don’t make you grow. I challenge you to walk away from what is not making you a better person;what is important is how you see yourself. Don’t see yourself as anyone else. Say Yes to your genuineness “don’t fake it, the real people will see the beauty you carry, no makeup can hide that. Forget all those regrets that led you no where, focus on your possibilities, just like me know that the cutest shoes comes in bigger sizes because they are always limited.

Give yourself permission to be beautiful, give yourself permission to be great. You never know how far you can fly until you spread those wings;my pains in life drew me to my pen, when I am broken i run to my book and just Express all of myself, i don’t know where I would have been if I never went through pains and challenges as a young girl, if I didn’t suffer from rejection and abuse i never would have the courage to speak to women with so much confidence. Just continue to be you, never stop smiling. I always want to top myself ,just live in the present. I would say go after whatever makes you happy, you will never move forward in life if you remain in one place. My strength came from thinking i couldn’t do to doing it every time. I let my energy overcome my negativity, don’t be deceived it is always there that small negative voice, but you have the power to control it. Try your hardest not to listen to what people say, they always have something negative to say, but pay attention to what they don’t say.

Hey! Just unlock your possibilities because your life is possible.

@eghonghon

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Author: freedomispeaceblog

I am a Single mum, self mentorship, goal gitter, fighter , Inspire, not hidding from myself. ...

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