Look at me running back to the room I thought I shut the door to. I hate it when I have to go inside that dark room staring at the walls without any light on. Sometimes I feel like the space around me needs more space, well I can arrange that affterall it is my space right.; What will make a fighter like me become weak, when the only word that comes out of my mouth is “Life is Possible” I say it to evetyone and especially to myself. But what really happens when that dark wind comes and brings you down ; takes you back to everything you left behind. What puts you in that spot of pain and breakdown? I know what it is. It is me when I shut the door to the dark room l left somethings behind. But what is that, I ask myself, why do I feel so weak, my feet cold and my past crawling back. It is me! Yes, me. I let the junks in, my past, my pains and I let it get to me.
There is nothing in that room. Do not be deceived, i told myself . My past is in the past let it go. My pains gave me scars but if I keep touching it, it will never heal. Oh my , now something else is crawling back to me. My thoughts, my mind is not getting twisted. I do not have the power to control what happens outside my life, but I sure do have the power to control what goes inside. I went into the room, sat down on the floor and cried out my eyes. I looked around even though it was dark I could see. I saw what I needed to feed and feel, my thoughts, exactly my mind. It is what rules my life. I need to be ready for that moment when those feelings will come, they will come no one is stronger than challenges, that storm has no face. It does not care your personality, when it wants to hit you it does. I realized it is not the dark room l have a problem with, what I had a problem with was me. The attitude in which i handle the challenges that comes matters a great deal. I should dance in the rain because it cannot rain forever, just like the storm no matter how heavy it is, it passes by. I remembered when I booked a flight to Warri some years ago, i never knew it was a small airplane i was going to fly with. The flight was delayed, over and over until I heard the speakers announcing my flight. I rushed up and saw the aircraft, oh my; i have seen lots of small airplanes but i have never boarded any. Wow! I got in . It was a short flight but felt like it was never going to stop. The weather unfortunately was not at its best. At a point I thought the aircraft had issues, but what can I do, nothing, absolutely nothing. I just had to relax until it came to a stop. That is what happens in reality, the challenges, the hurdles they must come but your attitude towards them makes it harder than the challenge itself.
I came out of the room, but happier. I looked at the door, this time i shut it down ,whatever was in there was just my monster waiting to be released. I won, I entered a broken woman but came out stronger. The war is over because I let it. I called a friend and told him I wanted to cry, his response was something I didn’t understand at first. He said to me, you need to do this on your own dear. Yes he was right i needed to hear those words, to awakening my spirit. I took Ownership of my whole being, that is the kind of woman i am. I stand under the rain and dance. I do not care if anyone is watching, i release myself to the greatness inside of me.
I do not want to be in any dark room, i want to prove me right. The person I need to improve and impress is me. I noticed that i was quick to avoiding what was coming, can you imagine if i refused to come out of that room. The horror, the pains would be doubled. If I did not stand up when I did I would have gone back to the things that broke my mind in the first place. You know in life people really do not care, so do not live yourself behind. I made a video some days ago, and I said just like the passing storm in your life challenges are TEMPORARY. When you say you can’t do it anymore, know that it is not you talking but your insecurities. Your life is possible.