This may sound strange to you or you have heard it before, happiness is in little things. As familiar as it sounds it is true, but we offen choose to look for happiness in far away places. Most times we wish to have more yet we have all we need,. Trying so hard to be happy actually drains your energy, you might not notice this on time, but over time when you Finally discover the truth about being happy, you realize you have put in too much energy and time being sad.
Over the years I have been through alot of situations and struggled with making things perfect and getting it right, but if you are not careful you might end up loosing yourself and staying even more unhappy. It might not be much but these are the moments and process that got it right for me.
DO NOT SHUT THE WORLD OUT
•If you shut the world out you will be stuck in one spot, but the world will not stop for you to get it right. Know that the world does not stop because you did, a lot even happens, good or bad it is part of the process that makes the world interesting. Oh Yes! When we are sad we quickly look for who to blame for our terrible situation, and when everyone seems far you turn to the world and hold it accountable for your failures and unhappiness. In as much as you want to chase the world out of your life you need to be in the world, so you can exist but in your own space. Sneak out once in a while even in your challenges, stop hiding so you can do everything you can to stay alive and see reality around you.
KNOW YOUR TRUTH
•What do you believe, what are your beliefs. Your belief is your truth, sometimes is what you have being told growing up; sometimes is your family belief and culture. Your environment, traditions practiced in your family and you want to hold on to those things as your truth. When my marriage started having troubles I refused to face the bitter truth that it might have to end for me to live. In the process of making it work I was going through more pains, the thought that my mum did not have a broken marriage made it even harder for me, i kept telling myself it must work because nobody in my family would accept me completely as a divorcee. I did not want to live in shame because of what others would say, i took this as my truth. But i am not my mother, she was able to stay and raised beautiful children even in an abusive marriage. I saw myself living in that same environment and going through same experience, it was time for me to know my truth and accept it. When you accept your truth your journey becomes easier, you are able to uproot every lie you have ever told yourself, you become more connected to your Innerself. I stopped living in what others want to see but what I want to see. It is not as easy as i am writing it now, it was a lot of work, but baby steps will improve help you identify and acknowledge who you are at the end of the day. There is great happiness to understanding who you truly are and believing in that true person you have brought out.
•You can not be happy if you still live with negativity of yesterday’s hurt,know that what you hold inside is under your control. Staying happy is having positive thoughts, only positivity will keep your mind at ease. Negative thoughts will creep in, having positive choices does not mean everything is going on perfectly, it means you are putting a smile on your face even in a rough and difficult challenges. Let me tell you something interesting! Even as I went through hard times i was able to go out and speak in events, i see people smiling and laughing. After an event some people do come to me and share their worse situations and how relieved they felt after the program. I could only do this because of my positive attitude and thoughts, i realized that by trying to help others i was helping myself get out of my own situation. Positivity makes you embrace the moment because that is what counts, i was able to live for the now, it brought out more laughter and love that was hidden. You can smile again if you let you positive choices play the bigger part in your life.🧚♀️💜
Listen to the newest episode of my podcast, Time Out With Eghonghon: Overcoming self threat https://anchor.fm/freedom-is-peace5/episodes/Overcoming-self-threat-e2cbt6
How confident are you when you are going through a hard time and still have the courage to lift your head up.
That has been my struggle, coming out everyday to inspire others but have to fight to survive from my own demons. What people see is that SMILING face full of life and confidence, but in reality I bleed in my own pains. But like I always say life is possible and must be lived.i do not believe in self pity and whining over what will not change unless I change the situation myself.
I went through months of Depression and abuse, anxiety, Infact I went through everything I preached about. You do not want to go through same experience of hurt over and over again, then it is your fault. The beauty of this is I see people sending me beautiful messages saying “you made my day with your message ” or i wanted to give up but looked at you and changed my mind. Wow! This gave me some Hope to know I still have something left inside of me and it’s bigger than me. I kept pushing myself and coming out of the nightmare,. You do not have to live in self -abuse , when I say self abuse I mean reminding yourself every day that your life is worthless, self- criticism , you are enough. Enough in every way, what I needed to do in my situation was just get up and live again.
What next for Mary, who is Mary? Me myself and I, not me myself and others. No it is left for me to move on to the next stage of my life. Not seeing everything as small but seeing myself as big, big enough to start all over no matter how. That is another challenge some of us face, we think we can not start from where we are, you can start form anywhere all you need is a sound MENTAL state of mind. I am not a professional speaker or writer, but trust I sure can say it like it is.
Do not lose yourself, it is so easy to lose oneself, getting yourself back is not as easy. Now it is time to go back to the drawing board and see myself for who I truly am, not the big nose girl others see, or the young girl who could not save her marriage or herself from being broken and abused. I knew I had to fight back myself, if you lived in a community where people say Depression is not real, or expect you to always be quite because that is what makes you brave! I tell you, you will not understand how hard it is to fight your way out of BROKENNESS. I look at the mirror and say i can do this, that strength is still there for me, i have a loud voice to Express myself and not hold on to things I can not change.
I am a who i say i am, i am what I say I will be. No SPECIAL life is given to anyone, yes I know some people are born into what looks like greatness, good or bad is not given to us, we alone have the power to create the life we want to life. It is time for you to come out front that place of darkness and shine. It is Okay to cry, yes! Cry, scream as loud as you want but please get up and live. No one cares unless you do it for you your dreams won’t work until you put it to work.
Try to be with people who will inspire you, remember no one is an island, creat a good relationship with others, your circle can be small but make sure it is powerful. Trust me it is great when we feel cared for by others, even though the bigger roll is on you. Keep moving and remind yourself there were times you were happy, self improvement and self valuing will BOOST your comebacks. Know that you will SUCCEED i do not know how deep you situation is right now, but i went through it and got out. Do not stay put in one spot it will make your PUNISHMENT worsen.
You say is it possible to change from all the hard lines, i say Yes, oh yes, not in one day, but recognize that life happens and you will surely survive the terrible challenges now even ahead. 🤗
There is only one true happiness in this life, to see yourself for who you truly are without no apologies. Life is a choice, a choice only you will DECIDE. What you decide is up to you to live with, we are offen not told enough how powerful we are; somehow we just live most of our lives in fear. What are we scared of? The unknown, most times we do not even know what we are scared of ,we are just AFRAID, afraid of life. We want to be seen, heard but we forget life is a process. If you love life it will love you right back, i have come to realize that it is not life we are AFRAID of but to live: time will pass so quickly and you may never bring out all your full potentials.
I am a nobody we offen say, it CANNOT be done, I do not have enough to begin with. You will keep relieving your experiences until you DECIDE to change your thinking, I know you have heard me say this too many times; I can not stop though.
So what are your limitations, your distractions, and your fears.To get there my advice,
•ACCEPTANCE of yourself is far more important than ACCEPTANCE from others.
•Surround yours with those who inspire you to be a better you.
•Just do it.
Some people will never support you no matter how hard you try, so just keep doing you.
For what it takes be KIND.🤗
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Listen to my segment “Tiny miracles are everywhere 😍” on Anchor: https://anchor.fm/freedom-is-peace?at=2742973